The New Classics #45: The Princess Guide

 

The Backstory: Here’s yet another title that made the move from the Vita to the Switch — and to our shores as well. The premise sounds interesting, the cover art looks good — heck, what are we waiting for? Let’s ride, baby! 

 

 

The Game: The Princess Guide opens with a tutorial, and let me tell you: you better take screenshots of that darn tutorial, because the button combinations are so outlandish that they’re nearly impossible to remember. Did I take screenshots? You bet I did! 

 

 

Actually, the whole game has an outlandish feel. Take the animated story sequences, for instance: why do the characters jiggle so darn much? You have to see it to believe it, I swear. The dispatch mechanics are also counter-intuitive as all heck — the worst part being that I cannot even explain why they are. They just don’t feel right; play the thing, and you’ll see immediately what I mean. Also, the game doesn’t let you save at all times; yet I didn’t manage to figure out the logic behind the timing for saving. I could go on and on, but the bottom line is this: the whole gameplay is kinda offbeat, and feels like it’s been designed by something out of this world.   

 

 

The titular princess training part is much lighter than I expected, consisting only of optional prompts in battle and a training/upgrading option between missions. It suits me perfectly as I’m no simulation game expert; however, I can imagine a veteran of the genre being thoroughly disappointed. As a matter of fact, TPG is surprisingly hollow; at its core, it’s really just a string of linear real-time battles loosely tied up through the training theme. Even that bunch of soldiers cruising with you seems to be a mere cosmetic choice: so far, I have yet to them do something useful in battle — or do anything at all, for that matter. 

 

 

The Verdict: Although The Princess Guide is a flawed game that lacks depth, I really like it. Combat is entertaining, and the aesthetics are gorgeous and memorable — and well, that’s enough for me as far as that game is concerned!