Stella Glow: I'm sated

20 hours in, just cleared the 8th chapter, and... Now come the SPOILERS! Avert your eyes, lest Stella Glow's main event loses all its impact!

Well, the game got me good with this one. I absolutely never expected Commander Klaus, i.e. the epitome of anime male perfection, to be a backstabbing traitor, let alone Alto/Elcrest's former-brother-in-arms-turned-jealous-rival. And yet, I guess I shouldn't be surprised at all in hindsight: although Alto was the titular Hero and Chosen One, Klaus was the de facto party leader, and the whole crew danced to the beat of his tune (pun totally intended). He lead us all on a leash like good little poochies, myself included, and I didn't realize it one second. I was totally and utterly fooled, and I loved being fooled. Well done, game.

On top of being pleasantly surprising, that plot twist answers the question nobody asked themselves: what if your typical messianic RPG hero that newly awakened to their destiny unwittingly ended up serving the bad side's interests? When you think of it, it's quite improbable that these guys somehow always magically wind up on the good side, all the more so as they are usually meek-as-lamb amnesic village boys who never wielded a sword before learning that they were The One, let alone took part in any fight with major stakes. My, they're really just ripe for the grooming, aren't they? I have to commend Klaus for being an genuinely clever and devious RPG villain: instead of charging dumbly against The One and setting himself up for a resounding defeat, he manipulated everyone and used Alto's and the Witches' powers to serve his own nefarious purpose. In hindsight, Hilda and her cronies' spiteful attitude towards Alto&co and their refusal to explain what they were up to makes perfect sense: they were actually the good guys all along, and we were the big baddies as far as they were concerned — and as scores of RPGs taught us, big baddies deserve nothing but contempt and harsh words from the good guys. Way to take the piss out of the players by turning RPG conventions against them, game.

As much as I dig that unexpected turn of events, there's a teeny-tiny problem: I really don't want to play Stella Glow any longer. See, everything until that point had led me to believe that the game was going to end there, at the end of the 8th chapter. I was fully poised for the grand finale: we were going to wipe the floor with Hilda&co, save the crystallized people, and restore world peace. Alto would be free to cavort with his own private little quatuor, the crew would live happily ever after, everybody would gorge on Klaus' delicious desserts until type 2 diabetes struck, The End. And now you're shoving that plot twist down my throat and telling me that the closure I expected is still some hours down the line, game? Oh heck no. I don't want to suffer through this, all the less so as I know exactly what's going to happen now. An inordinate amount of time will be spent laying down plan B, I'll have to run all around the world map to implement said plan B, Hilda will join my party and I'll have to Tune her several times, battles will get harder and I'll have to level-grind, yada yada. No thanks. In my opinion, the game should end right now — not only because that's what I was led to expect, but also because 20 hours feels like the right length for that game. According to internet wisdom, Stella Glow is roughly 40 hours long, and that's way too much, especially with a big baddie reveal at the 20-hour mark. How dare you pull a Tales of Hearts R on me, Imageepoch?

Nope, baby. No more Tuning for now.

And so I'm giving up on Stella Glow. I'm not swearing it off, mind you: I still see it as that delicious puff pastry of a game — but I'm sated now. Will I replay it at some point? Absolutely; I'll skip all them cutscenes, and I'll get my steamy endings with the Witches, my bro endings with the guys, and my harem True Ending with the whole crew at my feet. Until then, thanks for reading, and be my guest anytime!