The New Classics: The Rejects

 

The grandest overhaul of them all has started, dear fellow gamers! First thing first, here’s an exhaustive list of the already played games that will soon exit my precious collection, conveniently sorted out by system.

 

Game Boy / GBA:

— Tetris: Even though I made my peace with it, Tetris isn’t, and will never be, a cult classic of mine.

— Pokemon Blue & Pokemon Yellow: Now that I own FireRed, LeafGreen and Let’s Go Pikachu&Eevee, I have absolutely no reason to hold onto these games.

— Tales of Phantasia: It wasn’t bad at all, but it’s certainly not a cult classic of mine. Heck, I had to restart it twice, and I have yet to finish it — that says it all, doesn’t it?

— Golden Sun: It was lovely, and it brought me some retro goodness I really craved at the time; however, it failed to leave a lasting imprint in my gamer's soul. I’m still holding onto the two sequels for now, though; we’ll see if they’re more memorable.

— Sword of Mana: The only reason I might want to play that game again is the Seiken Densetsu signature graphical style. Given that said style can be found in other games I own, to the pawn shop Sword of Mana goes.

— Shining Soul: I absolutely hated it, and it should have left my precious collection long ago already. Look for the expression “to overstay one’s time” in the dictionary, and you’ll totally find a picture of that game.

 

 

PSP:

— Class of Heroes: Let’s face it, I’ll never touch that game again. Not only do I own much better FPDC, but I also own Class of Heroes 2, which boasts a higher Metacritic score and is probably better by sheer virtue of being a sequel.

— Adventures to Go: Nice grindy treat, but no cult classic potential there.

— Final Fantasy II: As far as grindy 8-bit remakes go, I’ll have Final Fantasy I over its little brother any day of the week. Also, there’s no way I’m ever tackling that darn final dungeon again.

 

 

DS:

— Rhapsody– A Musical Adventure: It wasn’t memorable back in the days, and it’s even more forgettable now that I have tons of better RPGs under my belt.

— Dragon Quest V: I know, I know; but I cannot lie to myself. DQV is one of the most revered DQ episodes, and a cult classic turn-based RPG; but it’s no cult classic of mine, alas. I’d rather go back to DQIX if I need a DQ fix, or to any other entry that makes the New Classics cut.

— Etrian Odyssey: I’m surprised myself, honestly. Or maybe not so much, actually: although my EO run was an amazing epopee, it was also tedious as all heck. Not only that, but said run unfolded right along an unpleasant time in my life; the two memories are now linked in my brain, which makes me stray away from EO. And heck, I own the brighter, more player-friendly 3DS remake anyway; so it’s not like I’m parting with that game forever, is it?

— Children of Mana: I have the fondest memories of that game, but let’s face it: I probably won’t ever feel like playing it again. Especially now that I have way better Hack’n’Slashes at my disposal. 

— Final Fantasy Fables – Chocobo Tales: A cute, and ultimately totally forgettable game. Nuff said.

— Lifesigns: The one run I cleared will be enough for the rest of my life, thank you very much.

— Suikoden Tierkreis: The plot twist was neat, but the gameplay was tepid at best. We all know I’m here for the latter first and last, which dooms Tierkreis to the pawn shop.

 

 

Vita:

— Conception II: I had a serious blast with it when I played it; still, it didn’t leave any real imprint in my gamer’s soul. A cult classic of mine this is not.

— Utawarerumono – Mask of Deception: Let’s face it, I’ll never replay that game. I fancied neither the story nor the cast, and the gameplay is too anaemic to justify a replay. The sequel will probably face the same fate once I’m done playing — it if I ever get round to playing it, that is.

— Criminal Girls 2: No need to keep that sorry sequel when I like the original way more.

— Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth 3: I love the series to pieces, but that episode has to go. Way too much of a good thing, indeed.

— Tales of Hearts R: I loved the first twenty hours, that much is undeniable; still, I don’t think I’ll ever want to replay those 20 hours again. In fact, I have yet to encounter a Tales game I wanna replay; if that game actually exists, Tales of Hearts R it is not.

— Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly: I can hardly remember anything about that game today, which speaks volumes. Off with its head!

— Psychedelica of the Ashen Hawk: Although I still love the art and the atmosphere, the unsatisfying endings and the many loose ends ultimately soiled the game for me. Too bad, so sad.

— Code : Realize:  Sure enough, I managed to enjoy that game after giving it a second chance. But we're beyond giving second chances, trying to recoup gaming investments and toiling to find redeeming qualities in each and every game now. This is the New Classic era, folks; only the very best can stay, and CR does not qualify as the very best. I've found otomes I love way more since, starting with my beloved Nightshade; on top of that, the only route I like in CR is Victor's route, and that doesn't justify holding onto the game.

 

3DS:

— Moco Moco Friends: I own enough Pokemon clones — and Pokemon games, for that matter — to dispense with that half-baked title.

— Return to Popolocrois: A game I dropped nearly as soon as I started it is obviously no cult classic of mine.

— Code of Princess: It was bad then, and it’s worse today. Also, MC Solange cannot hold a candle to Blaze from Streets of Rage or to the Senran Kagura cast when it comes to sheer badassery.   

— Fire Emblem Awakening: I really loved my run of it, that much is undeniable; but I also feel I’ve had my fill of that game for a lifetime. As far as FE goes, Echoes is most definitely my ultimate jam.

— Persona Q2 – New Cinema Labyrinth: I loved it, but let’s face it: it was all about the cast and the fighting system, and I can find them both somewhere else. The crawling was frustrating, the dungeons were ugly, and it’s another game tied to unpleasant IRL memories. One run was enough; if I wanna get myself some Persona Q again, I’ll roll with the prequel, thank you very much.

— Stella Glow: With hindsight, the plot twist severed all ties between me and this game. Trying to shove twenty extra hours of play down my throat was a betrayal I still cannot forgive to this day; and so, Stella Glow has to go.

— Tales of the Abyss: For the longest time, I thought I would replay that game one day; but I know now that it won’t ever happen. Still, I wrote a parting post about it, if only to acknowledge its importance in my gaming career. Indeed, my first Tales entry left an indelible imprint on my gamer’s soul — for better or for worse.

 

Switch:

— Café Enchanté: I loved it, I really did; but I don’t think I’ll ever want to read it again. It’s too harrowing, too heart-breaking — and it’s not like I’ll forget that soul-wrenching story any time soon anyway.

— Robotic;Notes Elite&Dash: It was a fun ride, but not one I’ll tackle again any time soon. Especially when my precious collection is full to the brim with much better VNs.

— Kotodama: The farthest thing from a cult classic you could ever imagine. Nuff said.

— Piofiore: Fated Memories: I won't deny I had an absolute blast playing that otome. However, I realise now that nearly all the fun came from the danger factor and the thrill of trying to make it in one piece through the routes. Now that the deed is done, PFM's appeal simply evaporated. 

— Animal Crossing – New Horizons: Let’s face it: the Animal Crossing series is completely an acquired taste as far as I’m concerned. I can enjoy those games if I try hard enough, that much is sure; but they’ll never, ever be cult classics of mine.

— Pokemon Mystery Dungeon – Rescue Team DX: It was a nice ride all right; but with hindsight, that nice ride was ultimately quite forgettable. Should I get a sudden PMD itch, I’d rather run to Explorers of Sky or to Gates to Infinity, which touched me way more and left a deeper mark in my gamer’s soul.

— Is it Wrong to Try to Pick up Girls in a Dungeon: This is the last time I’m typing that game’s stupidly long title. It was nicely entertaining, but I have tons of better ARPG at my fingertips.

 

There you have it, dear fellow gamers: the tried-and-tested games that will have to vacate the premises and make way for the real cult classics. That first examination of my collection was pretty interesting, I must say: some games I kinda disliked back in the days, such as Lord of Magna, finally made the cut, while others I rather enjoyed finally failed to impress on the long run. We can now move on to the meatier part, namely the tryin’n’testing of my many still unplayed games. Until then, dear fellow gamers, keep doing your thing and take care!