Pokemon Ruby: The Blaziken Solo Run

As I was cruising Hoenn with Dustox and Beautifly, a shocking fact suddenly dawned on me: Gen III was the only Pokemon gen whose starters I had yet to put to the solo run test. How could this happen? How on earth could I give those three a pass for so long? As I was busy trying to wrap my head around that unfathomable reality, another shocking fact fell on me like a ton of bricks: Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire were still sitting unplayed in my collection! Oh, the shock! Once I was done recovering from the enormity of the situation, I obviously had to do something to fix it, and no later than right now. The best course of action would have been to kill two birds with one stone and play some Starter runs in ORAS; however, I was kinda reticent to do that. Not only does my purist mind rather want to experience the Gen III Starters in their original environment, so to speak; but I also absolutely hate their sprites in ORAS. And thus my decision was taken: those Starter Runs would unfold in the original Gen III entries, and I'd keep ORAS for other runs — like, an Audino Solo Run with Mega Evolution on top.

And of course, I'd have the Starters' types match with the names and colours of the games — just because I can, and because the correlation is too utterly perfect to let it slip. And since the games' names would be monopolized by my Trainers already, I would craft fancy names tied to the Starters' types. And thus: dear fellow gamers, please give a warm welcome to my little Fire Storm! He's every bit your typical Fire Starter: fast and powerful, and very much a one-shooter indeed. Cruising Hoenn with that bipedal bird was complete piece of cake, and I never had to worry about my HP bar whatsoever. Even the Rock Gym, which could have proved a handful due to poor timing and type matching, was a complete walk in the park due to my Torchic already wielding Double Kick at the time. From then on, it was pretty much a one-shooting festival all the way to the Pokemon League, despite my lacklustre Move pool.

Indeed, Torchic is not blessed with the same bottomless learnset as, say, fellow Fire Starter Charmander; instead, the little chick has to make do with a small variety of Moves that don't always take full advantage of his double type. I spent an inordinate amount of time hanging onto Double Kick and Ember, completed with Slash and whatever else I found on my way, from Aerial Ace to Hidden Power. Only in the latter stages of my run was I able to put together a Move pool worthy of a Starter — namely Overheat, Brick Break, Earthquake and Return; and mind you, even that quatuor didn't completely solve my Move issues. Overheat in particular was really unwieldy due to its combined low PP, lack of precision and stat-lowering side effect, and it nearly put me in a bind against Phoebe's flying Ghost 'Mons. But everything worked fine in the end, and I was crowned Champion after roughly 9 hours of cruising through Hoenn — making that run my shortest Pokemon solo run so far.

After five runs of Gen III, I though I knew those games well enough; but it turned out that there was still plenty of room for detail-spotting and quirky discoveries. Like, how could I not realize earlier that Wallace, the resident Water Gym Leader, keeps a whole harem in the basement of his Gym? That's hilariously pervy and creepy! Also, why do I always, always fall prey to that troll rider on the cycling road repeating 'Rydel' a million times? Next time I'll steer clear of him by a wide berth, I swear. And last but not least, how on earth did I fail to notice until now that Brendan is a massive douchebag, and probably one of the most unsufferable rivals to ever (dis)grace the series? The little prick hits you below the belt right away, when he sniffs at your Trainer being female despite being a Gym Leader's child. Now looka here, you dirty punk: I don't have a PhD in genetics, but I'm pretty sure there's no natural law stating that Gym Leaders have to sire male offspring only. Go and reread your Mendel, will ya?

How would you like my hand in your face?

And this is but the beginning, because bloody Brendan basically spends the rest of the game throwing shade at you — all the way to the Pokemon League, where he dares butting in after your fight with the Champion to offer some advice (as if) and tries to sneak into the trophy room with you. The nerve! Trying to steal my spotlight like that, after hours spent scoffing and sneering at me? Why, you dirty little minx. The core issue with Brendan is that he basically doesn't acknowledge you as a rival, and deems you totally unworthy of his attention. Heck, you can nearly hear him roll his eyes and grimace in disgust every time he deigns talking to you; you betrayed his expectations by being a female, and from that point on, you're worth less to him than the dirt under his shoes. As I said: WORST. RIVAL. EVAH. Now I'm dying to play with the male Trainer and see if May is just as odious as him.

And since I'm mentioning this, it's time to wrap up that post and dive senselessly into Sapphire along Water Starter Mudkip! Stay tuned for the inevitable ensuing run report, dear fellow gamers; and as always, thanks a million for reading!